1. Elaborate set piece of a huge boy's head with a huge gaping mouth and two laquerware red bowls stacked in front of the ginormous head. One bowl is positioned above the other and is rocking back and forth tipping into the one below. Enormous fake boy has huge chopsticks that are rotating up and down like he's eating something from the bowl. Suddenly, family members dressed up as giant buckwheat soba noodles (black jumpsuits with squiggly grayish things attached to the length of their bodies) are kind of leaping from the top bowl to the bottom and into the mouth over and over until a person dressed as the red laquerware bowl lid sits on top to indicate that the meal of human noodles is over.
2. Now we've got a birds eye view of a cityscape, so it's a street with a sidewalk. Only, instead of a sidewalk, it's white and black piano keys. People are holding umbrellas with shoes peeping out so it looks like you're looking down from the top of a building on a rainy day. When the fake people walk, the piano keys play notes. A blue umbrella man is birds eye view flirting with a pink umbrella woman and awwww they start walking under the same umbrella.
3. Now the set has been transformed into a blue fish tank looking thing and there's a dude dressed up like a human sized goldfish. He's kind of flailing around. Tissues begin falling from the top of the set and are blown around by fans on either side. It turns out the dude has hooked up his mother's vacuum cleaner inside the goldfish costume so that the end with the suction is positioned like it's the goldfish mouth. As the dude flails around, the fish "eats" the tissues, which actually really does look just like a fish eating food. They're complimenting his mother for being so kind to loan him her vacuum cleaner.
4. Now a child policeman is walking around cardboard skyline city. The policeman leaves and all of a sudden the city transforms into a cardboard brontosaurus! It's huge! NOW THERE'S A CARDBOARD T REX coming out of the side! People in black clothes are manipulating the dinosaurs in an epic dual. TREX vanquished by bronto tail!!!! Police man child returns with a flashlight, sees that the city has been transformed into a brontosaurus, is quite surprised and falls down.
Now we're onto a beauty miracles show, which showcases the heroic dieting of one woman who gained 30 kg = 66 lbs and was rejected from her lover. If I have the conversions correct, she went from over 100 lbs to 150 lbs within a few months. That's a lot of weight in a short amount of time for sure, but by American standards, 150 lbs is nowhere approaching morbidly obese!!! Makes me wonder how Japanese people would react to the fact that the equivalent TV shows in the US showcase people going from like 400 lbs down to 250 lbs. Do they even know about the existence of The Biggest Loser????
So, morbidly obese 150 lb woman lost 30 kgs in 3 months by eating a diet that mostly consisted of konnyaku which is this extremely crunchy-gelatinous speckled grayish jelly that's sold in blocks or noodle form. This is a picture of what konnyaku looks like. It's appreciated in Japan mostly because of its interesting texture, and it has no taste, no calories, and no nutritional value as far as I know. It seems that she lost all her weight by substituting konnyaku for the parts of most recipes that actually taste good or contain something that is good for you. So, instead of ramen noodles in soup with toppings, she had.... konnyaku noodles with soup and toppings. Instead of takoyaki, she has konnyaku yaki. This sounds terrible to me. The one excellent thing about this show so far is that it has introduced me to the Cookpad website, which has a ton of recipes on it! Apparently this was the website she used to find her konnyaku substitution recipes.
Alright, we're done with the terrible reenactment of her life and now the REAL morbidly obese 150 lb woman has now shown up on the stage. There are fake sparkles surrounding her airbrushed form and everyone's talking about how nice her slim legs look in her chiffon short romper and cowboy boots. Omg!
This was not as successful of a TV evening, but perhaps more ridiculous shows will be on later in the week.
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